Sir High Lord Zen - Volume 4, Number 10
HIGH LORD ZEN
First off, I would like to apologize for my editor who dropped the ball on last weeks column. You see, we have this arrangement. I transcribe a minute in my mind to paper and he has to make sense of it and properly punctuate to boot. Well, he waited till 5 in the morning until he started editing it, and couldn’t understand what was going on and was confused. He missed words and..well read it. And of course since it was 5 in the morning, he felt he couldn’t call for confirmation. So last weeks article resulted.
I wish you guys could see the originals of the letters I get. Lord Bob always has them typed and lasered in memo format. The Man In Black just writes his on a piece of notebook paper. Pretty normal, but the ladies know how to do letters. The clothesless (sort of) resident had smiley faces all down the right side of the paper. The smilies were lasered while the letter was hand written. But the prize so far goes to the Lady of the Loft (the letter’s below) who delivered a letter sealed with wax. The letter was hand written on thick paper that can only be described as artistically bordered. It is a shame we can’t reproduce these pieces of art. Anyway, as promised, a letter from the Lady of the Loft:
Dear Lord Zen,
I was quite outraged to hear this “Bob” man calling himself a Brother of the Realm. You were right in putting him in his place. The “Order of the Ping Pong Table” is sacred, not to mention exclusive: each member must prove his worthiness and honor. As for the hazing, Tell “Bob” I’m ashamed. If he wants to join my Table, he will be evaluated for himself, not his foolish acts. For this reason, I selected you my first knight. Carry on with your quest..
The Lady of the Loft: Bestower of Titles,
Mystic of the Ping Pong Table, Goddess, etc…
PS: Thank you for the lovely mention of our ceremony.
PPS: My question is: “When Will they ever learn to hlep themselves?”
The lady of the Loft was the kind Lady who bestowed my knighthood upon me. And I dare not speak a disrespectful word towards her, lest my life be forfeit. But I may feebly attempt to answer her question. They will learn to hlep themselves when they gain age and experience. For some it is mere years, for other it is life times. As for Bob, it appears that he was properly chastised last week that he has not written this week. I hate to tell obvious morals, but well….it is generally a poor idea to declare yourself the leader of an organization that you don’t know anything about. You are just too likely to be shut down (fast and hard).
The Man in Black’s letter has been patiently waiting to get air time so here we go:
High Lord Zen,
Without going out of doors, one may know all under heaven;
Without peering through windows, one may know the way of heaven.
For this reason, the sage knows without journeying, understand without looking, and accomplishes without acting.
The doctrine without words, the advantage of nonaction- Few under heaven can realize these!
Who is puffed up cannot stand, who is self absorbed has no distinction,
Who is self-revealing does not shine, who is self-assertive has no merit,
Who is self-praising does not last long.
Be careful , Lord Zen. Heed my advice. I would hate to see you fall into the bowels of hell where dwell the mortal masses.
- The Man In Black
As much as I would like to follow the precept of action through inaction, that would require that I stop writing and discussing philosophical matters. While this wouldn’t hurt me any, I feel the humorous content of the Hughes News would deteriorate. And due to the nature of my articles, I am forced to be egocentric. While I’m allowed to discuss my life, feelings, and thoughts, I can’t discuss others peoples without their permission. So, I’m afraid all Hughes gets is me and those who give me permission (write me letters).
High atop a mountain of fire,
The High Lord Zen