Virtual Illusions

HIGH LORD ZEN

A thousand, thousand years ago I emerged from the viscous chaos and I was given a name… I am Lord Zen.

Those of you who were around last year know of me the newbies are sitting there going “Huh?” about now. Just accept it. It’s not a bad thing…. It’s a good thing. A very good thing. I will try to answer all your questions… but I will not try to anticipate them as this is more work than I feel like investing in this column… All the effort of becoming one with the universe finding all the questions that exist than narrowing it down to just the ones from AU… losing the sense of oneness that normally one has when communing with reality. Just to find the questions then I’d have to answer the questions. However I encourage you to write to me to make my life that much easier… that way you can write this column instead of having me do it. So if you have a question, comment, death threat, etc just send it along to Lord Zen c/o Lee Randazo in 408.

I know I said I wouldn’t return but I lied. I returned for two reasons first of all it was necessary to vent my great wisdom and Godliness (Ha!) lest I implode (with my sense of self importance.) leaving my corporeal body to take my place in the stars and that would be messy… I’d get ectoplasm all over my walls and that’s quite difficult to clean if you’ve never tried…. Besides It’s a rented dimension.

But the main reason I returned was that someone has failed in their duty me and Steve created a fine paper we put our blood and sweat into creating the… Hughes News. The other halls were green with envy. Residents from other dorms would sneak in the middle of the night just to read our paper. We had tradition we had style… we had cool fonts for the title. And here it is midterms and there has only been one Hughes News and that has been RHA smiling and trying to convince you they are nice guys. I know Lee if you give him a few drinks you better be careful he might hit you… accidently of course.

To condense the above is simple it all boils down to…. I’m back… you best be careful around open flames. Old news is over time for the new news… I understand we have a new RD who is really cool what a change… and I thought Hughes was cursed. Well whoever you are Mr/Ms/Mrs RD welcome aboard… I know it’s a little late but hey I’ve been out of circulation… heck I don’t even know your name see what happens when you miss those opening mandatory meetings.

Parents weekend just passed and again I feel it’s my duty to point out what drek the whole thing really is. I know a professor who goes to it to hear how wonderful he is and how great the faculty is. And we all know there are always streamers and balloons in the lobby. I no longer eat at TDR but I’m sure they put table clothes on the tables and served something edible to keep the parents support. And of course the weekly heritage festivals are all perfectly normal. But enough of that I’m out of here…

Sir High Lord Zen
Knight of the Ping Pong Table
Defender of Wilted Plastic Roses

HLZ