Sir High Lord Zen - Volume 5, Number 5
HIGH LORD ZEN
Hello my children. Since we last talked much has happened, for example my suggestion that everyone skip classes until such a time as they felt it was appropriate that they go to school was followed by nearly everyone… Do you blame them? I could go on to talk about how cold it was and other drek, but not only is that been beat to death it is also akin to talking about the weather and who wants to do that? It’s difficult to retain divine status talking about the weather (human sacrifice, happiness, love and death are much more conducive to your followers believing in you.)
I would like to quote Vladimir Nabokov (from Lolita if you must know, and completely out of context) “There occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers … reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demonic); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as ‘nymphets.’” I bring this up seemingly completely out of context in regards to a sacred oath I undertook to a certain vampiric nymph. I swore to remember her to you (I never quite understood what that meant especially since large numbers of you never knew and don’t remember her.) So, the question still remains, if all this is true why am I remembering her to you? I can give you two answers: First every nymph is special and should never be forgotten even if you never knew her, and second even a divinity is subject to the guile’s of a beautiful woman (read your mythology.)
Now I’ve got a letter, I’ve read it before I printed here and I think it is one of the best…
Dear Sir High Lord Zen,
I really like your column - the originality, cleverness, wit, and intelligence is refreshing Especially because “the Eagle” blows! Around finals you posed the question as to whether anyone really believed so much in an afterlife that they weren’t afraid to die. Well I can offer an interesting twist to this…
Probably because of the anxiety of finals, I had some sort of a nightmare. I dreamed that I would NEVER die. I grew old, all of my friends and family died, but I just wouldn’t die. It was hell. I was completely lonely, I couldn’t work because I was decrepit (a couple centuries will do that) I woke up in a cold sweat. Death isn’t such an awful concept after all.
So I have another issue I would like you to shed some of your light on. I realize this is not a tacky advice column… I don’t want advice, I’m just wondering about this concept in general… can a man really love a woman, want to marry her, but not be particularly sexually attracted to her? In fact what is love? I think the ultimate love is Jesus Christ on the cross (take him as a literary figure if you must) Does any other type of love exist? Does man just make it up? I have friend who thinks love doesn’t exist, only sexual attraction I don’t want to believe this. What does a “Sir High Lord Zen” like yourself have to say?
A Hughes Dudette
You have hit many wonderful points, and we shall begin as always at the beginning, with dreams. I’m not very good with them myself… In the past three years I can recall three dreams. Following the green grass theory, I think they are great. Even the nightmares are a little bit of reality… not the ordinary kind, but the kind you make yourself. I’ve spent hours wishing that I dreamed… I understand intellectually that I dream but never recall what the dreams are, but still… To see the things in my own head, without having to be responsible for them, what else could I ask? (A vampiric nymph perhaps?) I shall avoid the obvious temptation of analyzing your dream for one very important reason. By example: Sit a bunch of lit majors or college writing students down, hand them a completely meaningless poem you wrote yourself. Instruct them to analyze this poem and leave. Come back in an hour and you will find you are a sexual deviant with the desire to commit suicide to spite your lovers from another life (which you are having flashbacks to.) You think I’m kidding? Try it. So instead I’m going to move on to question the existence of love between men and women.
Without a word of hedging I’m going to say that love exists and is one of the primal forces that control a man or woman. It is very important that you don’t confuse my meaning, I don’t mean lust (it does exist and drives to many peoples actions, but it is not primal (it stems from ones desire to be accepted and have pretty token of status next to them or in the log books.)) True Love (no laughing) has nothing to do with physical appearances or sexual attraction, it has to do with finding someone whose soul is enough like yours for you to be comfortable, but enough different not to drive you crazy. This has been warped by social, societal, and language influences so that what we call love now carries more baggage of lust than it does of love. But love certainly exists. It is true that society has mixed it with lust, and the more or less primal instinct (left over from when we hung out on tree branches) to procreate. This instinct mixed with our ability to make sparks, and we confused the need for intellectual love with the need to perpetuate the species. Thus the beast called romantic love was born. But before I go off on a tangent, let us get down form the high and lofty philosophies to the land of simple answers; Yes, a man can love a woman, and want to marry her without being particularly sexually attracted to her, I hope I don’t have to say the opposite is also possible (and the saving grace of us men.) Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen often as we are enthralled by the society that raised us. A society far to concerned with status symbol mentality of love. Before I begin to repeat myself (hoping by repetition it will slip by people who have already decided to ignore it) we’ll continue onward.
If I had more time I would like explore the question of Jesus Christ as literary figure, as philosopher, as leader, and as god. The last being the only one I have real reservations. I don’t question that there may have been a carpenter who was a great spiritual leader of his people, nor do I blindly accept this as true. It is just as possible that the new testament is a quality piece of fiction. No one now living is truly qualified to answer the question. But as for the matter of him being a god… That I must question.
By the way I’m not a Sir High Lord Zen, I am The Sir High Lord Zen. Got to keep the ego in good working shape.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Without further ado, I’ll let you leave this spell binding text of the oh so Highest quality… Yeah, whatever…
Sir High Lord Zen
Defender of Wilted Plastic Roses
Knight of the Ping Pong Table