Diagnoses by Computer
A man complained to his friends, “my elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor.”
His friend offered, “Don’t do that! There’s a computer at the drug
store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose
your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs
$10.00 .”
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine specimen and went to the the drug store. Finding the computer,he
poured in a sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started
making strange noises, and various lights started flashing. After a
brief pause, out popped a small piece of paper on which was printed:
*You have tennis elbow.
* Soak your arm in warm water.
* Avoid heavy labor.
* Your arm will be better in two weeks.
Later that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if
this machine could be fooled.He decided to give it a try. He mixed
together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples
from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the
concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine,
poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made
strange noises and printed out the following analysis:
*Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
* Your dog has worms.
Give him some vitamins
* Your daughter is on drugs
Put her in rehab.
* Your wife is pregnant.
It ain’t yours-get a lawyer.
* And if you don’t stop jerking off,
your tennis elbow will never get better.