Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
A true story. A thermodynamics professor had written
a take home exam for his graduate students. It had
one question:
-
Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student,
however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then
they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have
a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into
hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions
and people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all people and all souls go to
hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in
hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same,
the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs
to stay constant.
So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than
the rate at which souls enter hell, then the
temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.
Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase of souls in hell, than the
temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Therese Banyan
during Freshman year concerning cold days in hell, and take into account
the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with
her, then #2 cannot be true, and hell is thus proven to be exothermic.”
It was not revealed what grade the student got.