Heaven is Hotter Than Hell
“The light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun, and the light of the
Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days.” — Isiah 30,26
Thus heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and
in addition seven times seven (49 times) as much as the Earth does from the
Sun, or some 50 times in all. With this data, we can compute the temperature of
Heaven. The radiation reaching Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat
lost by this same radiation is just equal to the heat generated by the
radiation it receives. In short, Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as does the
Earth.
Using the Stefan-Boltzman law, which predicts that the radiation emitted by an
object is proportional to the fourth power of its temperature, we can compute
that the absolute temperature of the Earth is 27 C (300K).
The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed, but it must be less than
110 C (383K), the temperature at which brimstone or sulphur changes into a gas.
According to Revelations 21,8 “The fearful and unbelieving … shall have their
part in a the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone”. A lake of molten
brimstone means that its temperature must be below the boiling point, which is
110 C, as above this point it would be a vapour, not a lake.
We have, then, the tempearature of Heaven at 134 C (408K). The temperature of
Hell is less than 110 C. Therefore Heaven is hotter than Hell.
[I recieved the below letter in response to this bit. Since I am loathe
to change text I didn't write I've included the letter so you get the two
perspectives. -ed]
I really liked this story. So much so that I decided to check the math and,
you’ll be pleased to know, if you do apply the Stephen-Boltzmann law to
ISAIAH 30:26, Heaven really WOULD BE hotter than Hell. It really amuses
the quantum chemist inside of me (who is just struggling to get out :-).
I just wanted to point out a few problems with your web-page version,
however… There are a few problems with the data numbers you’ve quoted
in the story, which sort of detract from its total impact. I hope you don’t
mind. Would love to see it fixed up as it is very funny.
First problem: you can’t compute the Temperature of the Earth from the
Stefan-Boltzmann Equation if you’re using Isaiah 30:26; you can only
calculate the Temperature of Heaven in comparison to Earth’s. The S-B
Equation would be set up as (Heaven T divided by Earth T)^4 = 50.
Then you have to ASSUME that the rough average absolute T of the Earth,
during a brightly lit day, is 300 Kelvin (26.8 C). Plug in the 300 K
into the equation and solve for Heaven’s temperature, which gives you
798 K (525 C). That’s quite hot.
Two: The melting point of brimstone or sulfur is 388 K (115 C) and the
boiling point of sulfur is 718 K (445 C). The lake of fire and brimstone
would have to be within this range, so Hell’s average temperature would be
somewhere between 115 - 445 C. We have, therefore, that Heaven at 525 C
is hotter than Hell even at 445 C.
I had fun with this; thanks. Hope you find more science jokes for me to
sink my gums into 
Cheers
Donna Fox