Virtual Illusions

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and
   then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every 10
   minutes
   to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives
   me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies,don’t open
   the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and
   opening doors is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the
   priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have
   nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could
   cost me a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be
   popular in conversation.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down.
   If fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. When you refer to
    them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really
    change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s
    nice to
    know someone is less fortunate.

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