The Top 16 Chelsea Clinton Pet Peeves About College
December 27th, 2001
- Every time she cuts her 8am class, CNN switches to a live feed from the lecture hall.
- PoliSci textbook only contains pictures from her “dumpy” years.
- Social life hampered by mandatory Secret Service body cavity search of potential dates.
- No room in dorm for all those boxes of missing Whitewater documents.
- Daddy won’t sign the Cafeteria Food Reform Bill.
- No one wants to waste good pot on a Clinton.
- Steamy makeout sessions usually end with the guy getting his ass kicked by the Secret Service.
- Tipper no longer around to clean up after her and Socks.
- Every boy who hits on you winds up on a “peacekeeping force” in Bosnia within 48 hours.
- Constant comparisons to notable Stanford alum Ted Koppel usually refer to physical resemblance.
- Bourbon shots not free like the ones “Uncle Ted” serves back home.
- Drunken frat boys always confusing her with Amy Carter.
- Football coach keeps begging her to get Janet Reno to enroll.
- RA’s write you up if the Chinese Delegates stay past midnight.
- Anatomy lab cadaver none other than Al Gore.
and the Number 1 Chelsea Clinton Pet Peeve About College…
- The man makes 200 grand a year-you’d think he could bring his own weed when he visits.