Feel Smarter — Instantly!
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
[ed. I received an email indicating that Mariah Carey never said the above.]
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever,because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would
live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the
same reactions in the brain as marijuana….The researchers also
discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember
what they are.
I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with
the law.
he failed to pay his taxes.
I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country.
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be
discontinued…Reason: it has been reported to our office that you
expired on January 1, 1976.
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history… this
century’s history….We all lived in this century. I didn’t live
in this century.
vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he
was asked his opinion of the Holocaust
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make
them unsafe.
I’ve always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are
vastly underpolluted.
why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of
principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the
appointment of David Steele to the post.
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
a ball in the 1934 World Series