Boosh Virus
If you receive an e-mail entitled “Boosh the Good Time Prez”, delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on discs within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play. It will program your phone to auto-dial the Moral Majority.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer - for God sakes are you listening !?!? - It will leave dirty socks on your coffee table when you are expecting company.
Then this virus gets down to business. It will send itself to the main computer at your place of employment where it’ll will rewrite corporate profit reports causing a huge downsizing of employees. Those who employees who don’t get laid off will have to kiss ass and do the work of twenty just to keep their jobs … and with less pay.
Then this virus is off to the Government’s main computer systems where pollution policies will be deleted or destroyed. Bogus studies will appear showing a huge tax surplus for the distant future and ignore any concern over the future of social security.
It will cause huge sums of money to flow into the upper 1% of America’s bank accounts while the rest of us wonder where our paycheck went.
It will subvert school studies to show that all students really need is school prayer and enough basic education to punch a clock and stay off welfare. Scientific studies will show that the world was really only created six thousand years ago. Oh and by the way it’s flat.
Then gas prices will go up with Big Oil profits (str ange how that works). But down will go wages, pollution standards, and complex thinking. The arms race will start again, other countries will hate us, and the words “Fortress America” will appear again after sixty-five years.
***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN***
And don’t blame the current President. Studies will show it’s the fault of the previous administration (unless we have good times then bring on the applause). And don’t blame the rest of us cause we-voted-with-the-majority.