I should have gotten into a huge fight with my brother. The kind with screaming and stomping out and the whole nine yards. Not that I had anything to be particularly angry about, but it might have protected my sister from being the person who came into conflict with him. Which would have saved her from the follow on conflict with my mother.

Its always the small things, it began with my sister trying to articulate that she wasn’t going to sit there for four hours and go over holiday photos on her laptop (not that anyone besides myself or my sister has the sleeping habits to actually do it). Then came my brother’s favorite phrase: “You have to.” I don’t think he has yet to figure out that his desires are not binding on those around him. Being on the receiving end I can vouch that there are few forces that make me less cooperative than my brother’s belief that I am bound by his whims. When a personal interaction is stretched thin, my brother’s dependable reaction is to throw gasoline on the fire and act all surprised that people are upset. In his mind, if not reality, he was being all polite.

So after spending hours with my sister after the conflict, mere minutes before leaving for the airport, my mother gets into it with my sister. I wasn’t present for this one. From my sister’s telling she was told she wouldn’t be welcome back. My father suggested that this was overstated. He said that was her interpretation, but ultimately it is all perception and interpretation. Claiming that something else was said is all fine and good but as far as my sister is concerned it didn’t. Unless an attempt is made to change the interpretation and perception, it is reality.

In vacuum maybe my sister over-reacted, but I have been where she is. I have a fundamental distrust of family events, I don’t deal with my brother unless I have an escape route planned. Old friends didn’t even know I had a brother, I freely admit hating him to new friends.

I should have gotten in a huge fight with brother. Maybe I could have protected her.