[This article contains a lot of anger directed at fundamentalist christians. Unfortunately during the writing process the anger was not controlled with a deft hand. The anger is spread to all who believe instead of being limited to certain factions. My apologies, but I feel editing away the sentiment two years later would be wrong. –editor]

I was reading in the Washington Post today (2-3-99) about Christian hair salons. Yes, Christian hair salons. Apparently some religious people are so fragile in their belief so afraid of idea cross pollination that they can’t risk hearing other people’s ideas at hair salons so they have to make Christian only varieties. While this can be the impetus for a whole rant in and of itself what I really found disturbing are two aspects of the article. To quote “Christian Salons Tend Their Flock” By Susan Saulny, Wednesday, February 3, 1999; Page A1

“Diane Collins, who owns Deliverance, said she worked in several secular salons before she finally had enough. She wanted to branch out on her own, but without business experience, she couldn’t get financial backers. She prayed harder and finally found a landlord willing to rent her space.”

Random guess here… She prayed before she couldn’t find backers just as much as when she did find a land lord. More to the point what does that have to do with anything? Only two possible things allowed her to start that business and none of them are supernatural. She either convinced someone that the cost benefit analysis of her business ended up with a positive result. Or through her association with her cult found someone associated with the same cult willing to accept unusual risk for the chance to brainwash the public and protecting the flock from external ideas against the will of the church. That would be the 14th century inspired will of the church. In business it’s called networking. Or it could be seen as a non-monetary aspect of the risk benefit analysis.

Whichever was actually employed God has nothing to do with it and is being used as a weak crutch for someone who can’t realize her own strength. Anything that was accomplished was done so by this women, but she is so brainwashed to absolve herself of all responsibility that she can’t even realize she accomplished something, not something I appreciate, but something none the less. All joy must come from within, all pain comes within. Or if you aren’t ready for such and internalist view, I’d accept that all joy comes from people, all pain comes from people.

I highly recommend thinking strongly about the within clause. It is the centerpiece of a strongly internal locus of control, the basis for taking responsibility for your actions. Every 20 minutes or so in this world of out of control lawsuits and other irresponsible behaviors, someone says how this world would just be so much better if people would just take responsibility for their actions, but the church tells them not to, hell the church tells them to do so is practically a heresy in its own right. Most religions are simply methods of releasing responsibility to the aether. Its very simple to figure out what you control, not just directly but in all manners, figure out what you influence, again not just directly, and figure out what is governed by laws of physics too complex to wrap your mind around on a regular basis. Then take responsibility for what you control, take and interest in what you influence and be aware of the rest.

And from the same article:

“She weighed 1 pound at birth. At 8, she found her mother slain in their Southeast Washington home. On her 16th birthday, she had a baby. Her father abused alcohol, she said, and her baby’s father abused her….

‘I give all the glory to God,’ Best said. ‘I would never have made it if He didn’t give me the strength. Look at all the pain, suffering and heartache I had to go through to get here. You think I’m not going to spread His word?’”

What a load of crock. This is the classic ‘God works in mysterious ways.’ To paraphrase the above paragraph: ‘I was needlessly and painfully tortured for my whole life, but it was good for me. I never would have been strong enough if I wasn’t tortured. Of course I’m going to recommend everyone is tortured.’ Sounds a lot like your classic domestic abuse survivor (or at least hasn’t been killed yet). What does that tell you about the health of this sort of religious activity?

What… you don’t believe my analogy is quite accurate? Let’s play a little logical game I like to call Where’s God? So imagine as the bible says that this God is both omniscient and omnipotent, or knows everything and can do anything. Given that scenario every aspect of Earth must be under the direct control of this God. If we also take as a given the belief that God is all good and accept that any good god would not torture us in such a manner. Which leaves you with two options either god is not omniscient or omnipotent (or does not exist) or god is not acting in our best interest.

It is possible that god exists and he is a scientist and he is cutting legs off spiders to see how they adapt to having less then the full compliment installed (metaphorically speaking). Maybe he tortures us to see how we react, but if he’s omniscient he already knows. In the story of the bible it is the devil who is the heroic figure there he stands alone against his adversary an opponent who knows his every move and can stop him with less than a thought, wipe him out of history with a look. The devil is a court jester for god to play with, a little bit of political misdirection. The devil is the David to God’s Goliath.

I’m wandering off topic… back to the point at hand. There is no evidence that God exists, equally there is no evidence that he doesn’t exist but we’re operating in a logical manner. If we apply a scientific approach Occam’s Razor (If two theories fit the evidence equally well and all other factors are equal the simpler is the truth) clearly comes down on the side of the non-existence of god. And if he does exist it turns out that he isn’t nearly as special as his PR team suggests or not nearly as nice as his PR team suggests.

And finally.

Everhart was traveling north on Silver Hill Road when she saw the big red sign reading, “Christ Did It All.” […] Was that a salon or a church? She had been looking for a place to get her hair done, so she was hoping it was both. But how could that be?

Everhart, 53, a born-again Christian visiting from Georgia. […]

“God sent her to us … all the way from Georgia,” Best said. “This a perfect example of what God does in here every day.”

Despite what best believes this is not a miracle, it’s neon (or maybe paint). There are many advertising professionals who can speak at great length about the science of it. But the point is that if another psycho cult member is driving down the street looking to have her hair done she’s going to find this place, because there is a big sign proclaiming it. No supernatural mumbo-jumbo is required just an understanding of the first concepts of advertising. Now if Everhart verifiable disappeared out of her living room and appeared in the salon then we might have a miracle, or at least a statistical abnormality.