From Allusions to Illusions
Martha Stewart Says:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.”
Real Women Say:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too
damn bad. Please recite with me the “Real Women’s” motto: […]
Before you order a drink in public, you should read
this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if
they could nail a woman’s personality based on what
she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they
concurred on almost all counts. The results
Beer:
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Blender Drinks:
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a […]
IT AIN’T EASY BEING A MAN . . .
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to
protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re […]
Classes for men at our local Learning Center for Adults:
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each
course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
Topic 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step by step, with slide
presentation.
Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Do rolls grow […]
Her Side of the Story:
He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn’t say anything much about it.
The conversation was […]
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of
a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was
moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him
freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; […]
The five questions are:
1 - “What are you thinking?”
2 - “Do you love me?”
3 - “Do I look fat?”
4 - “Do you think she is prettier than me?”
5 - “What would you do if […]
“I’m hungry”
I’m hungry.
“I’m sleepy”
I’m sleepy.
“I’m tired”
I’m tired.
“Do you want to go to a movie?”
I’d eventually like to
have sex with
you.
“Can I take you out to dinner?”
I’d eventually like to
have sex with
you.
“Can I call you sometime?”
I’d eventually like to have
sex with you.
“May I have this dance?”
[…]
You want
You want
We need
I want
It’s your decision
The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want
You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk
I need to complain
[…]
Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological
longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food,sex and beer.
Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The […]
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