Martha Stewart vs Real Women
Martha Stewart Says:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.”
Real Women Say:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too
damn bad. Please recite with me the “Real Women’s” motto: “I made it
and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.”
Martha Stewart:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who cares?
Martha Stewart:
Stuff marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
ice cream drips.
Real Women:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up,
eating it anyway.
Martha Stewart:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women:
Buy Hungry Jack potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up
to a year.
Martha Stewart:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on
the outside of the cake.
Real Women:
Go to the bakery. They will even decorate it for you.
Martha Stewart:
Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking for a
glossy finish.
Real Women:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do
not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don’t
do it.
Martha Stewart:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars
easy.
Real Women:
Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
And finally…the most important tip:
Martha Stewart:
Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women:
Leftover wine????????