This is what it is like everytime I visit my parents:
Christmas Back Home
From Allusions to Illusions
This is what it is like everytime I visit my parents:
Christmas Back Home
Gleaned via my time machine from over 2000 years in the future, the debate over scripture still rages…
Q: I’m unclear about the nature of the Trinity. Can you explain it in more detail?
A: The nature of the Trinity is a tricky subject even for scholars. Essentially, the Godhead is composed of Santa Claus, Frosty (the […]
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?”
The clerk says, “What denomination?”
The woman says, Oh my God. Has it come to this?
Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Protestants, 32 Baptists.”
CHENEY’S BRIEF APPEARANCE, RETURN TO SECURE LOCATION MAY MEAN SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER, EXPERTS SAY
White House Downplays Veep’s Influence Over Seasons
Vice President Dick Cheney emerged from his secure, undisclosed location to make the rounds of the morning news programs this Sunday, but then immediately returned to his hiding place — indicating that America may […]
Late Christmas week I was rushing around trying to get some last minute
shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the
season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot
as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I
[…]
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer answer to “elves”
Vertically Challenged they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the […]
Dear Santa:
Listen you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at
being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in
frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties,
and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME!
There had better […]
In a local county courthouse the Clerk of Court hated fake Christmas trees, so he always put up a real tree in the Clerk’s office every year. One year the Fire Marshal happened to do a building inspection of the courthouse just before Christmas, while the Clerk was out to lunch, and noticed the […]
by Frank Cammuso and Hart Seely
57 ELM STREET
BETHLEHEM, PA.
11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH
We’re too late! It’s already been here.
Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing.
Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care.
You really […]
No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only
Santa has seen.
There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since Santa
[…]
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