From Allusions to Illusions
A man was in New York’s central park, when a dog went wild and attacked
a young boy. The man was able to grab the dog by the neck, pulling it off the boy and choking it to death.
A reporter for the NY times comes to interview him, congratulating him
on his act of heroism. He suggests […]
What are the differences?
The mob: Pay us money or we will make you suffer.
The church: Pay us money or you will burn in hell.
The mob: Valentine’s day massacre.
The church: Heard of the inquisition?
The mob: Doesn’t pay tax on their ill-gotten gains.
The church: No tax on buildings, members can deduct “donations.”
The mob: Hierarchical, […]
In a local county courthouse the Clerk of Court hated fake Christmas trees, so he always put up a real tree in the Clerk’s office every year. One year the Fire Marshal happened to do a building inspection of the courthouse just before Christmas, while the Clerk was out to lunch, and noticed the […]
From the “Crooks are stupid!” file —-
It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen […]
This is a true story according to a recent issue of Road and Track
Magazine:
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a
motorhome […]
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some […]
Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many
countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures
who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things better left
[…]
The following are actual questions asked by lawyers during legal proceedings. The questions were compiled by the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal and these particular questions were subsequesnlty printed in a humor section of the American Legion Magazine (note copyright lawyer phrase above).
“How many times have you committed suicide?”
“Now doctor, isn’t it true that […]
The following are actual statements made during
court cases:
Judge: I know you, don’t I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing […]
During courtroom proceedings, all utterings are noted by a
clerk.
Here are some of the most humourous ones, as collected by
Mary Louise Gilman. These and more can be found […]
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